Interesting thing in 1998 when my husband and I separated. I decided to free wheel it for a while. At the time my cousin and I was living together as newly single women. We went dancing, and to concerts and festivals sans (without) male, just my cousins and female friends. So here I am this beautiful woman and I am not interested in being with a man. My cousin, her exhusband, and friends, they all tried to fix me up with someone. No thanks! I said. What are you gay, are you a lesbian? No I am celibate. Celibate why?. Because at 37yrs old, I have been in some sort of relationship with a man or boy since I was 14 yrs old. That's 23 yrs of relationships. I only knew what those people liked or disliked. I knew nothing about myself. I said I didn't know me! What I wanted or what I liked or dislike. So who was I when I was with them. Whatever they wanted me to be. I am sorry to say. I had promised myself, I wouldn't do that, when I seen my aunts, sisters and friends lose themselves. I did just that! My celibacy was my way of regrouping, to find myself and know me. From knowing me I looked back and realized if I had known me then , I wouldn't have picked many of the relationships I had.
I BELIEVE! that we as a species, we spend too much time trying to be mated down. Trying to be with someone Trying to please someone. We don't get to know ourselves when you start out young in a relationship.There are cultures that marry you off young, some as early as 8,9, or 10yrs old. In our society our children are talking about boyfriends, and babies as early a 13yrs of age. That's too EARLY! We don't know who we are that early.No wonder there are so many divorces; especially in the relationships for couples in their 40s and 50s. You wake up and realize, HEY this AINT WHAT I ORDERED. IS IT?! IT AINT WHAT YOU WANTED!
IF I have any advise to our youths of today and (if they would listen to me) is WAIT! You got plenty of time to be with someone. Take some time and get use to having a body flowing with hormones. Learn what you like, or dislike. Learn who you are and what you want to be. Know THYSELF!. That goes for the older people that had that UH-OHHHHH MOMENT!. I am so sorry TWO HALF human being don't make a WHOLE being. It's just TWO HALF being togther. What good is that. TWO WHOLE being is sooooo muchhhh BETTER.
ALLZ Im SAYNg
JUZ DO YOU
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Heaven or Hell, You Choose
Today, I was watching this movie about this woman going through some trials and tribulations. She talked about dying and going to Heaven. A lot of people believe they must died before experiencing Heaven. What if I told you you could have your Heaven, right NOW, here on Earth. Would you Believe me? Heaven is what you make here on Earth. The Lord's Prayer says" Our Father, Whom are in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, ON EARTH, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN" ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. Now if you ever BELIEVED, anything in the BIBLE, BELIEVE this prayer that JESUS gave us! What do you think it meant. It means that we should enjoy HEAVEN ON EARTH, RIGHT NOW. JESUS is telling us it is POSSIBLE! If JESUS told us this, where did we get the notion that we must die to experience Heaven? What sort of Father/GOD we serve to treat us so. I don't know about you, but my Father/GOD, is loving and wants me to live in Abundance, to be at Peace, to be Happy, to be Prosperous, to be Healthy. Then why are we not experiencing it all. Well we all have free will. We could choose to do it our way, or GOD's way. Those who believe they must die to experience heaven, Thy will is done. As a man THINKETH, so shall he BE! Free will, GOD wants to give all to you, but HE will not force it upon you! HE gives you your measure, what you are willing to receive.
Earth is crammed with HEAVEN!
Every blueberry bush is afire with GOD!
Those who SEE!, take off their shoes in Reverence
Others just sit around picking berries.
HEAVEN or Hell!
You CHOOSE!
Allz I'm sayng
Juz do you
Earth is crammed with HEAVEN!
Every blueberry bush is afire with GOD!
Those who SEE!, take off their shoes in Reverence
Others just sit around picking berries.
HEAVEN or Hell!
You CHOOSE!
Allz I'm sayng
Juz do you
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Give GOD the Steering Wheel!
I travel back and forth between Heaven and Earth. I can tell the difference now. I know I am Earth bound when I catch myself, thinking of things unimportant worrying,and fearing. Anger and frustration is what I also feel. When I meet my sisters and brothers who answer unvoiced questions, and give me what I asked for in my mind. When I lack concerns. When I am Inspired. I know I have crossed over into Heaven.
I had a Dream that occurred about 8 years ago. In this Dream, I had crossed this road lined with trees. On the other side was a clearing, with bleaches. The type you find on a school football field. My sister Ruby was setting midway to the top. I walked up these bleaches, past my sister. I don't know where I stopped on my climb, I do recall bypassing the top of these bleaches.
On my Spritual Journey, it has been indicated,(well scratch that because God doesn't indicate), It has been shown to me over and over again that I have been called to speak about the Truth. My strongest urgings were when I turned 31, this is when I first heard God's voice. I thought I was losing my mind (still not sure). He came to me again strong at 40. I was still doing some things I thought a person called should not be doing. I was also afraid, unsure,and not ready. At this time I was very successful, a self made Millionaire, with lots of houses and cars. In 2008 recession hit. I slowly over a course of 2yrs lost everything; my 5 facilities, my 2 homes,and my 3 cars. They foreclosed on my residence on April 1st 2010. I had nothing but my clothes and household goods and furnishings,computers, etc. I put all these things in Public storage.
My husband and I was left sleeping on my son's livingroom floor at night. We went from riding around in SUVs to driving an old, small pickup truck. I thought of all what we lost. I thought, it could not get any worse. Then in June 2010 for lack of payments, Public Storage auctioned everything in the storage but my family pictures, and my ramblings on my Spiritual Journey, recorded in journels.
I received a message on my Facebook account from Nii Armah, a 2nd cousin of my husband. For the past 3years we had been talking on the phone and finally meeting in August of 2009, when I travelled to Ghana. I brought books of Inspiration and Faith as presents for Nii Armah. He was hoping for more but my Spirit lead me to bring the books. The books, had changed his life. He had went from staying with his parents and jobless, to haviing his own home, a car and a wonderful position at this Bank. He said I had changed his life and that the books I left him was the greatest gifts I could ever have given him. He also called to tell me, that he had told his boss of me; how I had changed his life.Nii Armah's boss wanted me to do some Inspirational Speaking. He was willing to foot the bill for me to come back to Ghana. I was excited. I walked around bragging with my chest puffed up about my works I would do in Ghana. All of a sudden just as fast as the news came, Nii Armah and his boss stopped emailing and calling me. Now my son and his wife was wondering when were we leaving for Africa. What happened to Africa? I was stunned and had no answers. One day as I showered I talked to God. Why, Why God, Why? God spoke to me. He said" Jackie do you recall my servant Job". I said yes God, I recall the story. "As it is done to Job, It is done unto you". 2 days later my husband got 2 jobs and 1 month later we moved into a studio apartment.
Now I know what you thinking, Jackie a studio apartment is not half of what you had. I say yes, but it is a start. I Blessed that small one room with a bath, and it multiplied to a three room, larger, sunnier apartment. Meanwhile I continued to study, pray, mediate and have my talks with God. I had time on my hand so, I reintroduce myself to the library. I was lead to read certain books, that answer questions and guided me. Last month it was a book on marketing with social media. I said market what, there was also spiritual books, and novels that I found answers in also. This month the books, was web designing and Answering the call.
Two weeks before I read a blog on earning money blogging. I have time on my hand why not, then the author suggested social media. I reintroduced myself to the social media. I already had facebook, so now I added twitter.One day, I was instructed to go on facebook. I delayed it, but obeyed. I had lost my taste for facebook because of the content. The friends were inappropriate and young. I was inspired to look for more friend. I clicked on this one guy and out poured the right contacts, more mature and serious people. Now you talking I said. Later as I was telling my husband about the new friends. I realized that not only were they mature; they were in the type of professional positions that could help me. Hmmmmmmm! The same was happening on Twitters hmmmmmmm! again. They were the sort of contact I needed, that I didn't have in 2010. Why God, Why? Why now?
In the book, titled Answering the Call, by John P. Schuster, he speaks of the ego getting in the way of your call. He said "If a person takes on airs, saying, I'm on a mission and isn't it good that I am doing this," that person is in trouble because he is off the track. Although the call may be noble and true, the response is ego-tainted. Such people will generally suffer setbacks and pain until they can get their inflated ego under better control.Hmmmmmmmmmm!
When I read those two sentences. I said Thank you God! It's true. (the truth shall set you free). My ego did get in the way. I walked around telling everyone who would listen, look at me, God is making me a leader over all of you. My ego had gotten in the way. I had to push the ego out of the way and give God the steering wheel!
Allz I'm sayng
Juz do you
I had a Dream that occurred about 8 years ago. In this Dream, I had crossed this road lined with trees. On the other side was a clearing, with bleaches. The type you find on a school football field. My sister Ruby was setting midway to the top. I walked up these bleaches, past my sister. I don't know where I stopped on my climb, I do recall bypassing the top of these bleaches.
On my Spritual Journey, it has been indicated,(well scratch that because God doesn't indicate), It has been shown to me over and over again that I have been called to speak about the Truth. My strongest urgings were when I turned 31, this is when I first heard God's voice. I thought I was losing my mind (still not sure). He came to me again strong at 40. I was still doing some things I thought a person called should not be doing. I was also afraid, unsure,and not ready. At this time I was very successful, a self made Millionaire, with lots of houses and cars. In 2008 recession hit. I slowly over a course of 2yrs lost everything; my 5 facilities, my 2 homes,and my 3 cars. They foreclosed on my residence on April 1st 2010. I had nothing but my clothes and household goods and furnishings,computers, etc. I put all these things in Public storage.
My husband and I was left sleeping on my son's livingroom floor at night. We went from riding around in SUVs to driving an old, small pickup truck. I thought of all what we lost. I thought, it could not get any worse. Then in June 2010 for lack of payments, Public Storage auctioned everything in the storage but my family pictures, and my ramblings on my Spiritual Journey, recorded in journels.
I received a message on my Facebook account from Nii Armah, a 2nd cousin of my husband. For the past 3years we had been talking on the phone and finally meeting in August of 2009, when I travelled to Ghana. I brought books of Inspiration and Faith as presents for Nii Armah. He was hoping for more but my Spirit lead me to bring the books. The books, had changed his life. He had went from staying with his parents and jobless, to haviing his own home, a car and a wonderful position at this Bank. He said I had changed his life and that the books I left him was the greatest gifts I could ever have given him. He also called to tell me, that he had told his boss of me; how I had changed his life.Nii Armah's boss wanted me to do some Inspirational Speaking. He was willing to foot the bill for me to come back to Ghana. I was excited. I walked around bragging with my chest puffed up about my works I would do in Ghana. All of a sudden just as fast as the news came, Nii Armah and his boss stopped emailing and calling me. Now my son and his wife was wondering when were we leaving for Africa. What happened to Africa? I was stunned and had no answers. One day as I showered I talked to God. Why, Why God, Why? God spoke to me. He said" Jackie do you recall my servant Job". I said yes God, I recall the story. "As it is done to Job, It is done unto you". 2 days later my husband got 2 jobs and 1 month later we moved into a studio apartment.
Now I know what you thinking, Jackie a studio apartment is not half of what you had. I say yes, but it is a start. I Blessed that small one room with a bath, and it multiplied to a three room, larger, sunnier apartment. Meanwhile I continued to study, pray, mediate and have my talks with God. I had time on my hand so, I reintroduce myself to the library. I was lead to read certain books, that answer questions and guided me. Last month it was a book on marketing with social media. I said market what, there was also spiritual books, and novels that I found answers in also. This month the books, was web designing and Answering the call.
Two weeks before I read a blog on earning money blogging. I have time on my hand why not, then the author suggested social media. I reintroduced myself to the social media. I already had facebook, so now I added twitter.One day, I was instructed to go on facebook. I delayed it, but obeyed. I had lost my taste for facebook because of the content. The friends were inappropriate and young. I was inspired to look for more friend. I clicked on this one guy and out poured the right contacts, more mature and serious people. Now you talking I said. Later as I was telling my husband about the new friends. I realized that not only were they mature; they were in the type of professional positions that could help me. Hmmmmmmm! The same was happening on Twitters hmmmmmmm! again. They were the sort of contact I needed, that I didn't have in 2010. Why God, Why? Why now?
In the book, titled Answering the Call, by John P. Schuster, he speaks of the ego getting in the way of your call. He said "If a person takes on airs, saying, I'm on a mission and isn't it good that I am doing this," that person is in trouble because he is off the track. Although the call may be noble and true, the response is ego-tainted. Such people will generally suffer setbacks and pain until they can get their inflated ego under better control.Hmmmmmmmmmm!
When I read those two sentences. I said Thank you God! It's true. (the truth shall set you free). My ego did get in the way. I walked around telling everyone who would listen, look at me, God is making me a leader over all of you. My ego had gotten in the way. I had to push the ego out of the way and give God the steering wheel!
Allz I'm sayng
Juz do you
Monday, June 27, 2011
Being true to yourself
Akiba
When Akiba was on his deathbed, he bemoaned to his rabbi that he felt he was a failure. His rabbi moved closer and asked why, and Akiba confessed that he had not lived a life like Moses. The poor man began to cry, admitting that he feared God's judgement. At this, his rabbi leaned into his ear and whispered gently, "God will not judge Akiba for not being Moses. God will judge Akiba for not being Akiba.
Allz i'm sayng is
Juz do you.
Peace and Love
When Akiba was on his deathbed, he bemoaned to his rabbi that he felt he was a failure. His rabbi moved closer and asked why, and Akiba confessed that he had not lived a life like Moses. The poor man began to cry, admitting that he feared God's judgement. At this, his rabbi leaned into his ear and whispered gently, "God will not judge Akiba for not being Moses. God will judge Akiba for not being Akiba.
Allz i'm sayng is
Juz do you.
Peace and Love
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Awakening
Woke up this morning,
Encased in my past sorrows and pain.
Encased in the meat of my troubles.
Encased in the wrong flesh.
That's okay because I woke up.
Woke up to the chains of my pain breaking away.
The clouds of my past faded away.
I am grateful to be awake and free.
Free to be me, Free to be free.
Allz I'm Sayng
Juz do you
Blessings
Encased in my past sorrows and pain.
Encased in the meat of my troubles.
Encased in the wrong flesh.
That's okay because I woke up.
Woke up to the chains of my pain breaking away.
The clouds of my past faded away.
I am grateful to be awake and free.
Free to be me, Free to be free.
Allz I'm Sayng
Juz do you
Blessings
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